I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize