their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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