You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
