i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
