Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
please don't ironically join a cult
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