Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize