your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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