I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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