Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
