Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
