Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
