I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
