Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
