All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
