he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize