woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize