thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
