Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
