Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
