i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
