we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
