jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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