She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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