so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize