his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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