I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
My vagina just recognized that song.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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