my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
