I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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