Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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