My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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