come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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