I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
