By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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