talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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