Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
