Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
