The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
