She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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