Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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