Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
