love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Randomize
