watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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