it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
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