Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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