Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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