i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
