After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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