I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
