Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
