You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
