She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
