going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
