The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
