so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
