Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
it was like eating out sand paper
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
