nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
