That's when you crack a 10am beer
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
