..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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