My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
