I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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