So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
