woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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