coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
