Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
