But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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