he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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