No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
