i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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