If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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