I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
