What a fucking waste of an outfit
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize