we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
high people should be assigned attendants
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
