her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
my liver is dry heaving
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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