You just made me feel so damn special
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
