Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
